dear doogie,
hey dude…thanks for writing me so often…i’m really sorry i haven’t been as quick to reply…but you write like every night…that’s pretty incredible…how you balance that and your med school work load amazes me…so how are things going with your residency? i hope they’re just swell…and hey…how’s vinny? i miss the ol’ chum…and what about that chick wanda? now she was one foxy lady…you hold on to her doog…she’s a keeper wink…
so man a lot has gone on since i last talked to you…not much on the surface really…school started back up last month…work’s been a lot of the same…nothing major…but once you dig a little deeper there’s a whole flurry of activity…i guess i kind of feel like i can categorize these past two years in two different categories…2003 would be the year God taught me (or should i say changed the way i previously thought) about himself…i learned so much about him last year…i guess it came out of just having a desire to know him better…and as a result he revealed more and more of himself to me…and shattered my previous way of thinking and really my entire view of him as God…i think i’ve talked to you about this some before so i won’t launch too far into it…
so then i get to 2004…this seems to be the year that God is teaching me incrementally more about myself…as a result of him revealing more of himself it shed light on some major issues and areas of my life that i haven’t been dealing with…and it seems to have come to a breaking point over these last several months…i’m not sure what really brought all this on actually…maybe i’m just sick of living the same old life…not desiring anything more…it’s not really contentment…more like being beaten into submission by my flesh or something…i’m so safe…so predictable…i used to wonder how someone could ever do the 9-5 routine their entire lives…how do you get to that place to where life is nothing more than a cycle of pre-planned events? well i’ve been doing it for nearly the past year and a half now…and it’s become quite normal for me…i don’t like it…but i’ve come to accept it…now i’m not saying i’m gonna haul off and do something stupid…i think you know me better than that…some people would do something to totally break free from the routine…but i’ve always believed there’s gotta be some way to find balance in life…a balance between routine and spontaneity…and hopefully i make that a reality in my life soon…
isn’t it crazy how much we don’t really know about ourselves or why we do the things we do when we’re the only ones living in this skin? why does it always take someone outside ourselves to get us to figure that out (or if you’re smart you listen to the voice inside you before you even make a mess of things)…man i screw up so much…i screw up at not even letting on that i screw up…
thanks for letting me unload on you man…i know i can always count on you for sage advice…you’re wise beyond your years my man…
well it’s been great talking to you doog…i know you’ll keep everything i said here in confidence…i wouldn’t want any of this getting out to the general public in any form…
i really appreciate your friendship man…keep on keeping on doog-meister…
in love with early 90’s tv shows, ryan
######Note: This post is from a very old Xanga blog of mine. A very, very old blog. In fact, it’s practically a museum. Be sure not to touch any old references or links. You won’t break them, they are most certainly already broken.