"in the sorest trials, God often makes the sweetest discoveries of himself." - author unknown

i don't think i can say i'm in the sorest of trials right now in life...i think it's pretty hard for any air-conditioned, oil-propelled, cushy-couched american to ever proclaim such a statement...but trials they are nonetheless...sometimes life is hard...sometimes things just add up...burden after burden...responsibility after responsibility...and it becomes harder to retain focus...and more and more questions keep queueing in your brain..."why are you doing this anyways?"..."what is this actually worth in the end?"...

i should rephrase my header...no longer am i between a rock and a hard place so much as i'm in between "a suck and a suckier place"...that's just putting it simply...(caution: muchos complaining and whining about my various grievances with where my life is currently at lie ahead)...

this morning i came in to work to find out that the other engineer here (the actual engineer as i'm just "the cad guy") had given his resignation...i wasn't too shocked...i kind of saw it coming for a while...when you're a forward-thinking person in a place full of old-school-minded folks it becomes increasingly hard to get anything done...he was definitely making alot of changes around here...and changes for the better if you ask me (one that included kicking me out of my office and into a cubicle...but i've actually come to like my new cloth-walled surroundings...oddly enough)...he was really the only person here who was my advocate...he backed me up...cuz he was really the only one who truly understood what it is that i actually do and how much of a vital role i play in our department, and likewise, in our company...he was up on current technology and was always pushing for the latest and greatest things...because he believed in this company and finding the best way to do things...

but unfortunately...some people around here would rather just do things the way they're always done...the "every man for himself" and "let's do it and ask questions later" approaches...he brought about alot of good changes and finally brought some dignity to our dept...but how much can you really do when you keep butting heads with so many other people engrained in theses old mindsets? it can't be done...and in the process it's just makes for a frustrating work environment...so he admitted defeat and caught the next train outta here...

 </P> --- ######*Note: This post is from a very old Xanga blog of mine. A very, very old blog. In fact, it's practically a museum. Be sure not to touch any old references or links. You won't break them, they are most certainly already broken.*