i’ve recently come to realize that i haven’t really finished anything my entire life…
so as i usually do with such realizations, i began to shift all thoughts on the matter to the front-burner of my brain and let them simmer for a while…and what do you know…it’s for the most part true…i mean i guess i graduated high school…so there’s that…but i’m forgetting more and more about that every day…i haven’t finished college yet…i’m nearly five years in now…and only have an associate’s degree to show for my efforts…
i talk of all this recording and writing i’m doing…yet have any of you seen proof of any of this yet? i started recording a song last august and am still writing and rewriting the lyrics…looking through my scratch-pads, i glance past dozens upon dozens of emotions and feelings scrawled across the pages that are missing verses, choruses or melodies…they may never see the light of day…i do believe i’m making headway on my music with the minimal amounts of time i’m given to work on it…but the fact still remains…i have not produced one complete song…
it’s best to not even get me started on the supposed screenplay i was going to write…i have many ideas and continue to jot them down from day to day…but structure escapes me…maybe i’ll throw structure to the wind and be some kind of visionary and win all kinds of awards…but i want to write a movie that means something…so far it’s shaping up to be a very loose biopic…and by very loose i mean that it will include many momentous occasions that never have or will take place and will possibly feature several likable characters that may or may not have only existed in my head…
lastly, i looked at the books i have taken upon myself to read in the past several years…nearly all of them contained several pages and even chapters that have remained undiscovered…and why is that…mostly because i’m so darn excited to get onto the next book waiting in queue, i assume…but maybe i’m just afraid of finality…the end of things…not so much with books…but with things that i have some form of a creative voice in…endeavors that actually have something intimate and personal of mine out there on the line…man, that is scary…
well, the reason i mentioned books is because i finally finished one last evening (and to give a conclusive feeling to this post, i guess)…what an accomplishment, right?…the fact that it was cs lewis’ classic “mere christianity” made finishing it that much easier…but “blue like jazz” was looking mighty tempting from over on the shelf there near the end…(note: i hope to comment some on both of these books in upcoming posts)…
well what do you know?…i’ve finished two whole posts within one week…so there’s always that…
######Note: This post is from a very old Xanga blog of mine. A very, very old blog. In fact, it’s practically a museum. Be sure not to touch any old references or links. You won’t break them, they are most certainly already broken.