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well…one of two things has happened…either i’m writing to you from a war-torn, third-world, technologically backwards country…or…our flight was cancelled due to extremely foggy conditions at cleveland airport yesterday…so while “april fools” may be seem like a very appropriate tag-on after that last statement…it is in fact the truth…i’m still in ohio…and i still hate it here…what a disgusting april fools joke on me…and then today it snows…snow in april…how much worse can it get…



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so ohio got smart and listened up…good goin…you’ve made the first step toward recovery…realizing there is a problem…maybe now you can be institutionalized, reformed and changed for the better…we’ve yet to see what you can do, ohio…just know that i believe in you…but you’ve got to be moronic to think i’m gonna live inside your God-forsaken borders for the rest of my life…



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ohio wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t suck…i woke up to a thick blanket of snow and ice on the ground…glanced at the calendar…march 22nd…looked back outside…rubbed my eyes…looked again…still there…i’m slowly moving through the various stages of coping…first, denial…then, anger…and now indifference…i’m totally convinced now that ohio totally sucks and will always suck…for a while there i really believed in you oh, state that i call my own…i really thought you could pull through, be a buddy and make us all happy with some nice (dare i say) warm weather here and get our hearts beating hard for summer…but alas, you have not only let me down…but all your faithful citizens (the reason they’ve all remained continues to baffle me) as well…have no fear though, heart of america…there is hope for you yet…if you shape up this week and give me a sunny weekend…i won’t hold it against you…go on now…give ‘er the ol’ college try…i know you can do it…



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